OLD SONGS
So I got back from tutoring around 1:15, and I just made myself a pb sandwich. Yes I love pb w. natural pb, and cup of milk. It's like a freakin fiesta in my mouth. Either way, I turned the music on, and began checking facebook (the usual), when "Oasis - Dont Go away" came on. That song used to be my favorite all throught out junior high. Brought back a lot of memories, just in a span of 4 minutes, which ended as soon as winamp switched to "Omarion - O" which had no effect on me :-D
Except that it reminded me of last spring. Id drive all the way down to houston to see her, not cause she asked me to. I honestly wanted to see her. I had to fight "not literally" for her time. I cant figure out the hold she had on me... I cant even figure out what she has on me still.
A friend walked into my life... and I misread the whole thing :-D Sure she was strikingly similar in nature and with M (letter for my X), which probably wasnt a good thing cos I was honestly looking for a friend. She was too, its me who weirded out on the whole thing... but then again she kinda helped :-D Now Im left friendless, and she's become too cold to talk to. Just like M would become super cold as soon as Id fuck up. I saw it coming, I even flamed it. :-D Anyways, I dont know what Im doing, like I said. I have figured out the role I want someone to fullfill. I want a best friend; something I had with M, and F (x from eons back) and also J (the sweetest person in the planet), all of whom I dont speak to anymore, cos I managed to fuck things up by changing the type of the relationship. I dont want to see anyone socially, I just want someone that gets me. That would solve alot of my problems. Im listening to "Ryan Adams - Wonderwall" and all I can think of is the day of her birthday. Even when things were weird... seeing her smiling fixed it all. May be thats why when I was on my way down, it didnt bother me, cos all my problems faded the moment I saw her walking to my car. I think I am pretty shady (I hide alot of things), but I think i hid stupid things from her. Petty things, that I shouldve been open about. O well, she's not coming back, and I definately cant handle her. Its kind of nice reminiscing about her though. I still have our moments.
She used to tell me that she was looking for her wonderwall... come to think of it, she never said she found that in me.
Except that it reminded me of last spring. Id drive all the way down to houston to see her, not cause she asked me to. I honestly wanted to see her. I had to fight "not literally" for her time. I cant figure out the hold she had on me... I cant even figure out what she has on me still.
A friend walked into my life... and I misread the whole thing :-D Sure she was strikingly similar in nature and with M (letter for my X), which probably wasnt a good thing cos I was honestly looking for a friend. She was too, its me who weirded out on the whole thing... but then again she kinda helped :-D Now Im left friendless, and she's become too cold to talk to. Just like M would become super cold as soon as Id fuck up. I saw it coming, I even flamed it. :-D Anyways, I dont know what Im doing, like I said. I have figured out the role I want someone to fullfill. I want a best friend; something I had with M, and F (x from eons back) and also J (the sweetest person in the planet), all of whom I dont speak to anymore, cos I managed to fuck things up by changing the type of the relationship. I dont want to see anyone socially, I just want someone that gets me. That would solve alot of my problems. Im listening to "Ryan Adams - Wonderwall" and all I can think of is the day of her birthday. Even when things were weird... seeing her smiling fixed it all. May be thats why when I was on my way down, it didnt bother me, cos all my problems faded the moment I saw her walking to my car. I think I am pretty shady (I hide alot of things), but I think i hid stupid things from her. Petty things, that I shouldve been open about. O well, she's not coming back, and I definately cant handle her. Its kind of nice reminiscing about her though. I still have our moments.
She used to tell me that she was looking for her wonderwall... come to think of it, she never said she found that in me.
posted by eraz at 12:04 AM
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